TRUMP: Okay. Okay. Whatever. I’m going to take some questions from the crowd now, because, people, real… not ‘journalists’ we don’t need people who get paid to journal, those are not real questions, so real, real people questions. Don’t hold back. Vicious questions. I’ll take any question at all, Throw ‘em at me, I’m fearless about questions I could get asked by supporters at a rally for me. You don’t see Ben Carson taking questions from his supporters. You don’t see Carly Farina with her face take a question from someone who probably is going to vote for her. That’s too real. That’s not in the cript on the teleprompter. So go on. Ask me anything. Whatever.
UNIDENTIFIED WHITE MALE SPEAKER: We have a problem in this country, it’s called Muslims. We know our current president is one — you know he’s not even an American. But anyway, we have training camps growing where they want to kill us. That’s my question, when can we get rid of them?
TRUMP: We’re going to be looking at a lot of different things, a lot of people are saying bad things are happening, we’re going to be looking at that and plenty of other things. Next?
2’ND UNIDENTIFIED WHITE MALE SPEAKER: I applaud the gentleman who stood and said Obama is a Muslim born abroad and about the military camps, everyone knows that. That’s my question.
TRUMP: Right. See that? That was two people right in a row saying a thing about someone, two is almost three, three is a lot. If three people say a bad thing, that’s something that has to be looked into. And we will be looking into those things. And a lot of other things. So, next?
ANOTHER UNIDENTIFIED WHITE MALE SPEAKER: So, Obama is a known non citizen with no American Birth Certificate to his name, and we also know him to be Muslamic by persuasion. My questions is, doesn’t the constitution say you can’t have a terrorist to be president? How do we get rid of him? Also, a follow up. Obama has dark skin. How do we not know he is not a Mexican? I for one didn’t vote to have a rapist be president.
TRUMP: I’ve heard that. You’re not the only one saying that. A lot of people are saying things about things. And let me tell you, as President? Things that people are saying about other things? Those are gonna get fixed! We’re gonna make deals for the country that are smart, good deals! I’m very rich! That’s why!
UNIDENTIFIED WHITE MALE SPEAKER WHO, WHILE WHITE AND UNIDENTIFIED, IS NOT THE SAME SPEAKER AS THE OTHER SPEAKERS: Okay, here’s my question. This country is broken. Mexicans is why. I’m not a racist, but non-whites are pretty much Mexican as far as I can tell. What about my rights? What about my pride? I can’t even yell “White Pride!” over and over at the top of my lungs in a public place without the politically correct police throwing me in jail! I just figure if I see someone I think could be a Mexican and I kill them before they can kill me, how is that automatically a crime?
TRUMP: Because your passionate!
A DIFFERENT UWMS: It says right in the bible that slavery is OK. Where are my slaves? The constipution says I’m protected to have a religious liberty to own a dark complected human just like I own my couch or TV! White, male Christians have to stand up and stop being persecuted for demanding their rights guaranteed to them by the Bible of the United States of America!
TRUMP: It’s funny you should bring up the Bible, ‘cause it’s my favorite book. It’s the best book. I read it all the time. I love that book. What a page turner! A great beach read. Next question?
SOME GUY: Mud people! MUD PEOPLE! EVERYWHERE! MESICAN BASTARDS INFILTRATING OUR DRINKIN’ WATER! OUR… DRINKIN’… WATER! And them homo jet liners usin’ CHEM TRAILS of gay PHEREMONES to turn everybody trans and TAKE AWAY OUR GUNS!
TRUMP: Sure! A lot of people are saying the same thing. Next?
THIS DUDE: Where are you on eating non-white babies? For, you know, like food? Like, as if they were very small cattle?
TRUMP: Let me tell you something. When I am President, the best people, the smartest people, will be looking into things that get said. And the best people make the best deals! Whatever! Do you know how much I’m worth? Me neither! That’s how big my pile is! Am I right? Okay, next.
SOMEBODY WHITE: If I start by saying you’ve got my vote, is there anything I could follow with that was so utterly vile and sub-human, so completely despicable and morally repulsive, that you would reject it?
TRUMP: Okay, you’ve been a tremendous crowd of real Americans, but I have an important business deal about money that I have to go win, so goodbye, god bless, and Mexicans are the worst! Goodnight!