Highlights from Trump’s speech at the 2017 Boy Scout Jamboree, verbatim, not altered by me in any way, cross my heart.

Thank you, everybody. Thank you very much. I am thrilled to be here. Thrilled…

19th Boy Scout Jamboree, wow, and to address such a tremendous group. Boy, you have a lot of people here. The press will say “Trump spoke to a small group of Boy Scouts”

Fake news. You set a record today. 17 Billion people. 17… Billion. They counted. With a counting machine. 17 Billion. The fake news won’t tell you that.

You set a record. That’s a great honor, believe me.

So tonight we put aside all of the policy fights in Washington, D.C. you’ve been hearing about with the fake news and all of that. We’re going to put that… We’re going to put that aside. And instead we’re going to talk about success, about how all of you amazing young Scouts can achieve your dreams, what to think of, what I’ve been thinking about, things, things, things that are thoughts that are in your head that you’re having, things you see in your head like a movie, they seem so real, voices… the voices everybody… they’re so normal to hear. Those voices.  So we’re going to put politics aside today, because who the hell wants to speak about politics when I’m in front of the Boy Scouts? Right? Am I right?

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You know, I go to Washington and I see all these politicians, and I see the swamp, and it’s not a good place. In fact, today, I said we ought to change it from the word “swamp” to the word “sewer” or perhaps to the word “cesspool.”

I don’t have to tell you what a cesspool is, right? Some people would say this was the wrong crowd to spell out what a cesspool is, what it’s for, but you’re Boy Scouts, right? You probably get a badge for digging latrines, right? A merit badge for digging a hole in the earth to crap in, so you get what I’m saying, that Washington is a hole in the ground full of human… human… it’s where people take a dump! I have to work with human dumps! I should get that merit badge, right? Right?

But it’s not good. Not good. And I see what’s going on. And believe me, I’d much rather be with you, that I can tell you. I can tell you kids, I hate my job. I’d much rather be with you than human dumps.

I’ll tell you the reason that I love this, is because as president, I rely on former Boy Scouts every single day. Pence was a Boy Scout. Shockeroo, right? Vice President Tight Ass, a Scout, right? I mean, you can be a man AND a scout. Just not always. Right, Mike? 

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, not only  a Boy Scout, your former National President. He belongs to me now, so that means every word I say to you today is totally appropriate and even my enemies will have to say this is the best speech ever given to a Boy Scout Jamboree ever by anyone in all of human history!

Secretary of Energy, Rick Perry was an Eagle Scout! I know, I know, I don’t get it! That’s supposed to be hard! I guess not that hard, right, Rick? Those glasses aren’t fooling anyone, Rick! They’re not even real, kids! No glass, you can poke him right in the eye. I do it all the time! He lets me! Hey, what choice does he have? None, right?

I… was never a Scout. I would have been. I could have, and I could have been a great Scout, an Eagle Scout for sure but also that secret, special level beyond Eagle that most of you don’t even know about.  I went to military school, which is let me tell you, WAY more than Scouts, so I didn’t have to do all that stuff is, I already did and I did it so well… so well… I feel like I’m bigger than an Eagle Scout in a sense. Like, a secret… Covfefe… Scout…

Thank you.

Secretary Tom Price is also here today, he was a Scout. Dr. Price still lives the Scout oath, helping to keep millions of Americans strong and healthy as our secretary of Health and Human Services. And hopefully he’s going to gets the votes tomorrow to start our path toward killing this horrible thing known as Obamacare that’s really hurting us. Because what do Scouts do if some horrible thing  is trying to hurt them? They kill it first. They kill it first. That’s what the Killing a Horrible Thing Before it Hurts You Merrit Badge is all about. You can’t be an Eagle Scout without that badge. You can’gt be an Eagle Scout until you’ve killed… killed the horrible… Obamacare.

By the way, Tom Price, are you going to get the votes? He better get them. He better get them. Oh, he better. Otherwise I’ll say, “Tom, you’re fired.” He thinks I’m kidding. I’m not kidding Tom. Don’t ever think I’m kidding. Covfefe Scouts don’t kid. You better get the votes

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here you learn the rewards of hard work and perseverance, never, ever give up. Never quit. Persevere. Never, ever quit. You learn the satisfaction of building a roaring campfire, reaching a mountain summit or golfing not just one weekend, but every weekend, even when they tell you not to, never give up, never quit, go golfing… EVERY weekend… and watch all the cable news shows. Every one. There’s no better feeling than an achievement that you’ve earned for me with your own sweat, tears, resolve, hard work. There’s nothing like it. Nothing.

Boy Scout values are American values. And great Boy Scouts become great, great Americans… As the Scout law says, a scout is trustworthy, loyal — we could use some more loyalty I will tell that you that. Some people, I call the sons of bitches, are not loyal. Jeff Sessions is very, very disloyal. So unfair to me. I’d fire him, but it’s more fun to let him dangle. Every day I hang him with humiliation and let him twist in the wind. I’m not afraid to fire him! The fake media says I’m afraid, no, no, no, Covfefe Scouts are NOT AFRAID! I fired Comey and everybody TURNED ON ME! LIKE I DID A BAD THING! They think they can trick me into firing Sessions?! And YELL AT ME AGAIN? No!NO! If little mister tiny boy-size-man with the big ears wants to stay Attorney General and not quit even though he KNOWS I WANT HIM TO I’ll just make fun of him on TV every day. He said he was my friend and then he recused! RECUSED! He knows I don’t know what that word is! I’m not gonna look it up, he can look it up! I’m going to tear the badges off his sash until he’s just a tiny little big ears wearing a no badge sash and then I’ll get my Boy Scout hatchet and teach that little prick to BE PREPARED!…

Throw the pieces in the… in the WASHINGTON CESSPOOL because… that little speck of shit…. is NOT… LOYAL!

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I’m waving to people back there so small I can’t even see them. Man, this is a lot of people. Turn those cameras back there, please. That is so incredible… By the way, what do you think the chances are that this incredible massive crowd, record setting, is going to be shown on television tonight by the fake media? One percent or zero? The fake media will say, “President Trump spoke” — you know what is — “President Trump spoke before a small crowd of Boy Scouts today.” That’s some — that is some crowd. Fake media. Fake news. It’s okay. It’s okay. They’re all going to jail. They think they’re not, but they are. Thank you. Thank you all. I’ll publish their addresses and you can hunt them down. Imagine it. Just imagine. Thousands of boy Scouts… running through the streets at night… with torches… breaking windows… driving them out of their homes… burning their homes… a beautiful picture. So beautiful. Scouting is… so beautiful…

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By the way, just a question, did President Obama ever come to a Jamboree?

And we’ll be back. We’ll be back. The answer is no, by the way. But we’ll be back. Thank you. I love that you love me. Something about having so many… youth… in uniform cheering for me. Cheering youth in uniform. Such a historical picture. We’ll be back. We’ll keep coming back for this

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I’ll tell you a story that’s very interesting for me, you’re gonna love it, great story for kids, very relateable, and it’s pretty short, like an hour or two, it’s pretty much the bulk of my speech, this great story for Boy Scouts with a lot of values and lessons I think as children who are Boy Scouts you will totally relate to and find fascinating.

When I was young there was a man named William Levitt. Anybody ever hear of Levittown? And he was a very successful man, became unbelievable — he was a home builder, became an unbelievable success, and got more and more successful. I love real estate stories, right? This is right up your street, it’s so… adventure in real life, right? Camping, building fires, great, sure, whatever, but selling houses? How come there’s no merit badge for that? To make Covfefe scout you need to get your selling houses merit badge and your keeping the Blacks out merit badge, that’s why Covfefe Scout beats the SHIT out of Eagle Scout, Okay? Okay.

And he did this for 20 years, Levitt did this, and then he was offered a lot of money for his company, and he sold his company, for a tremendous amount of money. And he went out and bought a big yacht, and he had a very interesting life. I won’t go any more than that, because you’re Boy Scouts so I’m not going to tell you what he did. Should I tell you? Should I tell you? You’re Boy Scouts, but you know life. You know life. Lets leave it at very interesting. Like owning a beauty pageant interesting. Ordering a wife from another country interesting. Russian prostitute interesting, okay? Boy Scouts are BOYS, right? RIGHT? We know. We know… Wow. They will do anything… the Russians ones… if you’ve got the money, they will do…

So he had a very, very interesting life, and the company that bought his company was a big conglomerate, and they didn’t know anything about building homes, and after about a 10-year period, there were losing a lot with it. So they called William Levitt up, and they said, would you like to buy back your company, and he said, yes, I would. He so badly wanted it. He got bored with this life of yachts, and sailing, and all of the things he did in the south of France and with Russian prostitutes and whatever. You won’t get bored, right? You know, truthfully, you’re workers. You’ll get bored too, believe me. Of course having a few good years like that isn’t so bad. You understand. People will say Boy Scouts Wouldn’t understand yachting in the south of France with Russian hookers, but you know, I don’t really think about who I’m talking to when I talk to people. Whatever, whatever, you’re all the same, and I don’t mean that in  bad way, it’s just, what I’m talking about is the important thing, right? The me talking part. Not who I’m talking to. I can’t keep my mind on who I’m talking to and talk at the same time, right? Who could do that? No one. No one.

But what happened is he bought back his company, and he and he worked hard at getting zoning, and he worked hard on starting to develop, and in the end he failed, and he failed badly, lost all of his money. He went personally bankrupt, and he was now much older. And I saw him at a cocktail party. Lot’s of liquor, good stuff, cocaine? Hey, this was the eighties, so much… so much… cocaine. And it was very sad because the hottest people in New York were at this party. I mean, so hot. Young chicks. Russians. It was the party of Steve Ross — one of the great people. He came up and discovered, really founded Time Warner and he was a great guy. He had a lot of successful people at the party. And I was doing well, so I got invited to the party. I was very young. And I go and I see a hundred people, some of whom I recognize, and they’re big in the entertainment business. It’s big shots, big shot, all big shots and I’m there because I’m already a big shot, I get invited to parties with big shots because I’m a big… big shot. And I see sitting in the corner was a little old man who was all by himself. Nobody was talking to him. I immediately recognized that that man was the once great William Levitt, of Levittown, and I immediately went over, and I said, “Mr. Levitt, I’m Donald Trump.” He said, “I know.” He knew who I was on sight because I’m very important and well known. That’s important to the story. I said, “Mr. Levitt, how are you doing?” He goes, “Not well, not well at all.” And I knew that. But he said, “Not well at all.” And he explained what was happening and how bad it’s been. And I said, “What exactly happened? You’re one of the greats ever in our industry. Why did this happen to you?” And he said, “Donald, I lost my momentum. I lost my momentum.” I’ll tell you, it was very sad, and I never forgot that moment. And I thought about it, and it’s exactly true. He lost his momentum. In life, I always tell this to people, you have to know whether or not you continue to have the momentum.

I don’t know what that story means, or why I told it to you. It wasn’t planned. I don’t like to plan. Something made me think of it, and then I was saying it. It fell right out of my mouth hole! I tell it a lot, so  it probably means something to me. It comes into my head and then I say the words of it out loud. I think the important part is that when I went up to Levitt, he knew who I was. Just like the Boy Scout motto. “Make sure they know who you are.” Because if you introduce yourself to someone and they don’t already know who you are, you aren’t shit. Put that on a badge and have your mommy sew it on your sash. That’s so stupid. You know who wears sashes? Beauty… pageant… contestants. Not men. Not men. I’m a man. Levitt knew who I was. “I know.” That’s what he said.

So it’s a great honor to be with the Boy Scouts…And the economy is doing… just great. So great.

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Do you remember that famous night on television, November 8th where they said, these dishonest people, where they said, there is no path to victory for Donald Trump? They forgot about the forgotten people. By the way, they’re not forgetting about the forgotten people anymore. They’re going crazy trying to figure it out, but I told them, far too late; it’s far too late. But you remember that incredible night with the maps, and the Republicans are red and the Democrats are blue, and that map was so red it was unbelievable. And they didn’t know what to say. So exciting for Boy Scouts!

And you know, we have a tremendous disadvantage in the Electoral College. Popular vote is much easier, totally for pussies. We have — because New York, California, listen, Illinois? you have to practically run the East Coast. And we did. We won Florida. We won South Carolina. We won North Carolina. We won Pennsylvania. The Electoral College! So exciting for Boy Scouts! Fuck your first aid badge, fuck your animal science! Get your Electoral College merit badge! A Covfefe sash has three badges; Electoral College, Being a Big Shot and Russian Hookers. And it’s not even a sash, it’s  a long, beautiful, long tie.

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She was told she was going to win Michigan, and I said, well, wait a minute. The car industry is moving to Mexico. Why is she going to move — she’s there. Why are they allowing it to move? And by the way, do you see those car industry — do you see what’s happening? They’re coming back to Michigan. They’re coming back to Ohio.

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Wisconsin, now, Wisconsin hadn’t been won in many, many years by a Republican. But we go to Wisconsin, and we had tremendous crowds. And I’d leave these massive crowds, I’d say, why are we going to lose this state? The polls, that’s also fake news. They’re fake polls. But the polls are saying — but we won Wisconsin.

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“Oh, he’s gonna lose now, he said grab ‘em by that pussy, that’s it, he’s done for” and I’m like “Fuck you, you don’t know shit you fuck, I got this in the BAG, nobody cares I said pussy, I’m a man, a man, A MAN SAYS PUSSY! PUSSY, PUSSY, PUSSY!” Look at what I got going in, I got Russian money up the ass, I got Russian intel up the ass, I got free media UP THE ASS, I’m gonna LOSE?! NEVER! I NEVER  LOSE! You think I wanted this job? This Fuckin’ BULLSHIT job?! I did NOT! I DO not! But I never… never… lose. I have momentum. A Covfefe Scout has… Momentum. And all the haters… who said I was going to lose…. Are going to suffer. They are going… to… to… I have to tell you, what we did, in all fairness, is an unbelievable tribute to you and all of the other millions and millions of… what, who are you, what event is this? Boy Scouts?  It’s a tribute to all the Boy Scouts that came out and voted for make America great again.

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This is a very, very special occasion for me. I’ve known so many Scouts over the years. Winners. I wasn’t one, but I don’t need to be, you need it, it’s like a crutch for you, but a good one, it’s okay for you to crutch. I’ve known so many great people. They’ve been taught so well, and they love the heritage. But this is very special for me. And I just want to end by saying, very importantly, God bless you. God bless the Boy Scouts. God Bless the United States of America. Go out, have a great time in life, compete, and go out and show me that there is nobody, nobody like a Boy Scout. Merry Christmas.

Thank you. Thank you.

Goodnight. Merry, merry Christmas.

 

Thank you.

 

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