Trump’s MLK Breakfast Opening Remarks, Verbatim, Not Doctored by me, Pinkie Swear.

Well this is Black History Month, so this is our little breakfast, our little get-together. Bannon said we didn’t have to do anything, but I said no, no, the Black people love me so let’s do a breakfast. I’m having breakfast anyway, I can have it with the Blacks, okay? It’s their history month, Okay, they got it fair and square, Okay. Let them take it, it’s the shortest month I think. I’m mentioning them, I’m mentioning the Blacks, okay?  On Holocaust remembrance I left out the Jews and they all had a little Jew fit, so Black history month, Black history, Black, Black, Black History, Okay? Okay, Kellyanne?  Let’s have breakfast.

Just a few notes. During this month, we honor the tremendous history of African-Americans, which really is a tremendous history, tremendous, tremendous, it’s a very… tremendous history, throughout our country. Throughout the world, if you really think about it, right? And there are African-Americans in space now, right? I saw a picture of a black astronaut, can you believe it? How far they’ve gone? So also in space. And their story is one of unimaginable sacrifice, hard work, and faith in America, a lot of it against their will, so it counts more, okay?  I’ve gotten a real glimpse—during the campaign, I’d go around with Ben Carson, a Black man I know,  to a lot of different places I wasn’t so familiar with, Black places Ben has access to as a Black man where I would not be able to go without him because Ben is Black. The inner city. Ben as guide. They’re incredible people. The African-American… community. Incredible. And I want to thank my African American Ben Carson,  who’s gonna be heading up HUD. That’s a big job. Housing and Urban Development, two things. Two… whole… different… things. You need an urban, urban man for that, very urban and Ben is very urban. The  most urban man. So that’s why I appointed a  man I called a child molester during the campaign, because whatever his past, he is very… he is so urban. Look at him. No one would believe I am so close to such an urban American and I am sitting next to him. The dishonest media will not report it, but I am so comfortable… sitting next to him.  Right, Ben? Ben? When I say ‘Right, Ben?’ you open your damn eyes and say ‘yes, Mr. President’.  A little sleepy, but that’s okay, it’s HUD, it’s like Postmaster General, who cares? HUD’s gonna be like a big bedroom for Ben. Ben… Carson. Such a great… Black guy.

Last month, we celebrated the life of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., whose incredible example is unique in American history, a guy who did a lot of big, some of the biggest things. You read all about Dr. Martin Luther King a week ago when somebody said I took the statue out of my office. It turned out that that was fake news. Fake news, but big news, he’d been out of the news for so long and now really Dr. Martin Luther King is getting some of the biggest headlines of his career because of this thing about the bust. With me you get big headlines, I am a ratings magnet, the biggest, so really a good deal for King. But he was a very great guy. So important. The statue is cherished, it’s one of the favorite things I own in the… round room. The President’s famous round room—and we have some good ones. We have Lincoln, and we have Jefferson, and we have Dr. Martin Luther King, who did you know was not even a President? But we have him with the Presidents. But they said the bust of Martin Luther King, was taken out of the office. And it was never even touched. So I think it was a disgrace, what they said about me. So on Martin Luther King day we remember that I did not move a statue of him and the dishonest media lied about it. but that’s the way the press is. Very unfortunate.

I am very proud now that we have a whole museum for Blacks on the National Mall where people can learn about Reverend King, so many other things. Frederick Douglass is an example of the name of a Black man that I’ve heard. He’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I noticed. Really an up and comer. Watch out, Sleepy Ben! This Douglass guy is hot!… Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks…George Washington Carter, who was so famous for his peanuts and the peanut butter cup… named for two Presidents, by the way… and millions, millions more black Americans who made America what it is today. So many Blacks! Millions! It’s a big museum. Big impact. So important. Blacks.

I’m proud to honor this heritage and will be honoring it more and more. I am going to honor the Blacks so often your head will spin, you’ll be sick of me honoring the Blacks. The folks at this table in almost all cases are Black, at least half,  and have been great friends and supporters. Omarosa and Don King and Ben and other people I know who are Black. There’s like a dozen of them here, and I know them. And Paris Dennard! Another Black! Look at him eating my eggs! He loves eggs! What a big appetite! Slow down on my eggs, Paris! Leave some for the rest of us! And Paris has done an amazing job in a very hostile CNN community. He’s all by himself. He is the first… he is the only Black commentator on CNN, can you believe that? So racist! You’ll have seven  white people, and Paris. And I’ll take Paris over the seven. But I don’t watch CNN, so I don’t get to see you as much as I used to. I don’t like watching fake news. I don’t watch you on CNN but I love what you are doing there. So, so brave. To be their only Black Man. But Fox has treated me very nice. Wherever Fox is, thank you. So on Black History month we celebrate Fox. Hey, Fox! You should get Paris! He loves me! Or that Douglass guy! Boy, he is hot right now. Do a show with me and Douglass, your ratings would go so big! I had the biggest ratings for any television show in the history of television with ‘The Apprentice’. Now with Schwarzenegger… tanking. So sad. His name is German for African-American, actually. Two African-Americans. Schwarza… Negger. And so during Black History Month we celebrate Arnold Schwarzenegger and his terrible… terrible ratings.

We’re gonna need better schools and we need them soon. We need more jobs, we need better wages, a lot better wages. Blacks have nothing. They have nothing. Everything Black is on fire or getting shot. Can you believe it? So unfair. We’re gonna work very hard on the inner city because that is where the Black people are. Ben is gonna be doing that, big league.  He’s Black. That’s why I appointed him, I said get me the best Black guy for the inner city. The best, the best, get me Ben Carson, that is the name of a Black guy I know. He ran for President! The same time as me! How big is that? A black guy? Running with me? That’s huge. Huge for a Black guy. That’s the Black guy for the inner city thing. We need safer communities and we’re going to do that with law enforcement. We’re gonna make it safe. We’re gonna make it much better than it is right now. Right now it’s terrible, and I saw you talking about it the other night, Paris, on something else that was really—you did a fantastic job the other night on a very unrelated show, they were talking about… I think it was a cooking show and you said ‘What Black people want most of all is  for law enforcement to crack down on us hard! If the police can’t get the job done, send in the Feds!’ Amazing. Amazing Paris. That guy can put away the eggs. The appetite on you people.

I’m ready to do my part, and I will say this: We’re gonna work together. This is a great group, this is a group that’s been so special to me, the Blacks. You really helped me a lot. If you remember I wasn’t going to do well with the African-American community, and after they heard me speaking and talking about the inner city and lots of other things, we ended up getting—and I won’t go into details—but we ended up getting all the Black votes. I am the first candidate to win every single Black vote. And I would have won more Black votes if not for the millions of not Black people illegally casting votes as Blacks against me for Hillary, who should not have been allowed to run.  She had to cancel her fireworks, did you know that? She was all set to do fireworks. She had to cancel… And now we’re gonna… take that to… new levels.

I want to thank my television star over here—Omarosa, she’s mine, I made her, she was no one but now she’s huge because of me. She’s a Black woman that didn’t exist that I have known personally for a while and made famous. People say she is a horrible, horrible person, but they don’t understand that was just the character she was playing, it’s reality TV, it’s like wrestling. I have no idea what she’s like in real life. Never thought about it even once. Here’s what I do know about Omarosa. She’s Black. A lot of people are saying that she’s hooking up with Frederick Douglass. I’m not going to get into it, but a reliable person has told me they are going to replace the very over rated and failing Beyonce and Jay Z Derulo as America’s next top Black Power Couple.  So I want to thank everybody for being here, especially the blacks who the dishonest media said wouldn’t even come to this breakfast but I think all the empty steam trays proves you did. No, no, please, enjoy!

Am I done, Kellyanne? Was that enough? Okay? Okay, I’m done. Get out.