Rejected Yankee Candle Scents

By The Burbank Family



After The Flood

Deep Regret

Public Pool

Traditional New England Old Folks Home

Liver N’ Onions

Self Loathing

Indian Summer Micro Aggression

Praline Existential Crisis

Knights Inn Carpeting

Long Night Of The Soul

Grampaw’s Aftershave, Cigarettes N’ Rotgut

Soaked Dog’s Guilt

Lilac (No Homo)

Dollar Store Halloween Candy

Deep Woods Balsam N’ Ignorance

Bavarian Intolerance

Cinnamon Pumpkin Renamed Crap, Sixth Iteration

Fresh Cut Wrists

That One Time In Seventh Grade You Liked A Girl And You Gave Her A Note And She Gave It Back With The Words ‘Why Did You Give Me This?’ Written On The Other Side So You Turned It Over And Discovered You Had Somehow Accidentally Given Her An Absence Excuse Note From Your Mom

Seasonal Affective Disorder

Yellow Snow

Lilac (Full Homo)

Best Days Behind You

Fresh Roasted Almonds You’re Allergic To

Store Bought Christmas Cookies Because Your Children Are Not Worth The Effort

Some Damn Pumpkin Spice Shit

Toxic Masculinity

Literally Toxic Masculinity

Day After Thanksgiving Hangover N’ Lingering Shame

What’s In This Old Tupperware?

New Year’s Eve Alone

Exotic Rain Bloom That Smells Like Rotting Meat

Valentine’s Romance Totally In Your Head

Beach Bonfire Mishap

Something In The Wall

Vichy French Vanilla

Fisherman’s Missing Halibut

Birthday Cake At A Party You Didn’t Get Invited To

Blooming Jasmine Ironically At A Crime Scene

Honeysuckle Ironically At A Crime Scene

Christmas Memories Of Not Getting What You Wanted

Tarps N’ Duct Tape At A Crime Scene

Hillbilly Dread

Clean Cotton Shroud

Mexico On The Lam

Coconut Papaya Blackout

Tropical Hernia

Uncle Clem

Artisan Barista Third Degree Burn Ointment

Repressed Memories

Blueberry Crumble Trigger Warning

Tree Shaped Car Freshner

Olde Thyme Whupping

Leave The Lid On


2 thoughts on “Rejected Yankee Candle Scents

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s